Stop Leading With Your Title

May 11, 2026

The strongest relationships in my network started with a painting, a boat, or a dinner for a cause.

This weekend I was reminded why. I was invited to exhibit one of my paintings at DrawBridge, an arts program doing work for a cause worth showing up for. Standing in that room, I noticed what I notice at sailing events, wine dinners, and most gatherings where the reason to be there is something other than work: people connect faster, and they stay connected longer.

When two people meet at an exhibit, they talk about the painting. Then about other painters. Then about a trip to Italy, or the kid who just started college, or the cause the host built the night around. By the time work comes up, they already like each other. That is the foundation real business relationships are built on.

The best executives I know lean into this. They lead with the part of themselves that has nothing to do with the cap table. The painter. The sailor. The runner. The person on the board of a cause they believe in. That is the version of them people remember, and that is the version that gets the call when something interesting comes up.

Three things I see again and again in this group:

A great reason to invite. “Come to my exhibit” or “come to a dinner for this cause” is a gift to the other person. It is generous, easy to say yes to, and it builds the kind of goodwill that lasts.

A great reason to be remembered. In a city where every dinner has six partners from six firms, the painter stands out. So does the sailor, the marathoner, the person who shows up for the cause they care about.

A great reason to come back. Hobbies and causes have shows, seasons, races, fundraisers. Built-in reasons to stay in touch and keep building.

Most senior people I know already have a side pursuit or a cause that matters to them. The ones who let it show up in their professional life build the deepest networks. The part of you that is not the title is often the part that opens the most doors.

What is the thing you love doing outside work? That is probably where your next strongest relationships are going to come from.

Thanks to Evelisa Genova, Michael Shuffett, Ilona Song, and the DrawBridge team for the invite. It was a great night for a great cause.